Being Canadian and a creatively maladjusted polymath, watching the Bulwark podcast containing the video of Donald Trump1 repeating Russian talking points about the Ukraine War and then proceeding to blame Ukraine – the country that was invaded – for the war, Trump’s words revealed the path for Canada to prosper in dealing with Donald Trump and the Trump Tariffs.
Following the path set out by Donald Trump in his solution to the Ukrainian War, would see Canada reap significant economic benefits by ignoring imaginary lines on a map and invading the USA thereby acquiring territory and economies currently claimed by the USA.
Under the Trump Doctrine [the course of action and rationalization set out by Donald Trump with respect to the Ukraine War and ending the Ukraine War] the United State would be responsible for starting the war because of the threat posed by US tariffs.
In addition, the Trump Doctrine would require the USA, in order to end the invasion/war, cede the states of California, Oregon, Washington and New York to Canada.
The addition of the states of California, Oregon, Washington and New York as new Canadian provinces would resolve the Tariff War since the addition of the state’s economies to the Canadian economy would render the threat of American tariffs moot.
In addition to the super charged boost to the Canadian economy from adding California, Oregon, Washington and New York to Canada as provinces, the territorial additions would enable Canadians to get their winter sunny, warm weather fix without a need to leave Canada.
Canada should include Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine among the territories demanded to end the invasion in order to provide states for the [self proclaimed] master negotiator Donald Trump to ‘save’ through ‘negotiation’.
I acknowledge the unfairness – the discourtesy – of raising the hopes of the states and residents of Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine when those states are included solely for the purpose of salving the delicate ego of Donald Trump.
Should Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine wish to join California, Oregon. Washington and New York in becoming Canadian provinces it is probable Canadians would be amenable to accommodating those states.
Should this occur Canada would need to add ‘red states’ to Canada’s territorial demands which would grant Donald Trump the additional benefit of not simply ‘saving’ states, but ‘saving’ states that voted for Donald Trump.
While this may sound ridiculous – Canada invading the USA in response to tariffs; the USA being responsible for forcing Canada to invade because of the US threats and tariffs; the US surrendering the states of California, Oregon. Washington and New York to Canada to end Canada’s invasion – it is the way the world works according to the Trump Doctrine set out by Donald Trump.
1 the honorific ‘President” is not attached to Donald Trump out of respect for John Adams, Abraham Lincoln, FDR and John F. Kennedy.