Category Archives: Homeless

behaviour, Consider

Let them eat cake

Leave a comment

Picture if you will, a fence, a 7 foot tall chain link fence that divides a larger enclosed area in two. On one side of the fence two large pavilions/tents have been erected on the paving brick of the garden terrace. Three sides of the pavilions/tents have been left open to the healing peace of the garden while on the fourth side, the side that faces the fence that divides, white fabric walls have been raised.

Under the towering white spires of the pavilions are tables covered with white linen tablecloths and circled by chairs to seat the visitors for their midday repast.

To one side of the pavilions stands a BBQ on which is cooking the luncheon entrée. Rising from the BBQ grill is a cloud of scent infused smoke which wafts through the chain link fence. The scent permiates the airspace on the other side of the fence with the mouthwatering aroma of barbequing beef.

Standing on the concrete surface of that courtyard space, enveloped in the tantalizing scent of barbequing beef, are Abbotsford’s hungry homeless and poor; lined up waiting for the door in the side of the building which forms one side of the enclosure to open and admit them for what for many of Abbotsford’s hungry will be their only meal of the day – lunch.

New arrivals continue to trickle in as time ticks down to the appointed hour for lunch to begin. These new arrivals enter the courtyard with broad smiles on their faces as they sniff the air and happily profess their anticipation of enjoying barbequed beef for lunch.

Their faces fall as they are informed by those waiting in line that the BBQ is not for peasants such as themselves but for the august personages gathered under the pavilions.

The door opens and the hungry file quietly in to get their lunch, a bowl of soup and sandwich, escaping the tantalizing false promises made by the wafting scent of beef cooking on the BBQ.

I want to make it clear that I do not begrudge the members of the Abbotsford Christian Leadership a feast of barbequed burgers.

I am merely suggesting that leadership, in particular Christian leadership, should exemplify compassion, consideration and care for those less fortunate members of the community rather than such a thoughtless egocentric disregard.

If at this point you are telling yourself “they get a fine lunch every day” or some analogous disavowal – you’ve not discerned the gist, the essence.

I am not interested in picking up crumbs of compassion thrown from the table of someone who considers himself my master. Desmond Tutu

George Washington’s

Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour

In Company and Conversation

1st Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.

2nd When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usualy Discovered.

3rd Shew Nothing to your Freind that may affright him.

4th In the Presence of Others Sing not to yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or Feet.

5th If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkercheif or Hand before your face and turn aside.

6th Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when others Stop.

7th Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half Drest.

8th At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.

9th Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there be meat before it.

10th When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing them.

11th Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.

12th Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl not the Eys lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by appr[oaching too nea]r him [when] you Speak.

13th Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c in the Sight of Others, if you See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it if it be upon the Cloths of your Companions, Put it off privately, and if it be upon your own Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off.

14th Turn not your Back to others especially in Speaking, Jog not the Table or Desk on which Another reads or writes, lean not upon any one.

15th Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your Hands and Teeth Clean yet without Shewing any great Concern for them.

16th Do not Puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the Lips too open or too Close.

17th Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any that delights not to be Play’d Withal.

18th Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in Company but when there is a Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the Books or Writings of Another so as to read them unless desired or give your opinion of them unask’d also look not nigh when another is writing a Letter.

19th let your Countenance be pleasant but in Serious Matters Somewhat grave.

20th The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to the discourse you are upon.

21st: Reproach none for the Infirmaties of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in mind thereof.

22nd Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were your enemy.

23rd When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always shew Pity to the Suffering Offender.

24th Do not laugh too loud or] too much at any Publick [Spectacle].

25th Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremonie are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.

26th In Pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen &c make a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.

27th Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered as well as not to do it to whom it’s due Likewise he that makes too much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the Second time of being ask’d; now what is herein Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is troublesome.

28th If any one come to Speak to you while you are are Sitting Stand up tho he be your Inferiour, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his Degree.

29th When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way for him to Pass.

30th In walking the highest Place in most Countrys Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honour: but if three walk together the mid[dest] Place is the most Honourable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.

31st If any one far Surpassess others, either in age, Estate, or Merit [yet] would give Place to a meaner than hims[elf in his own lodging or elsewhere] the one ought not to except it, S[o he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer] it above once or twice.

32nd: To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the cheif Place in your Lodging and he to who ’tis offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.

33rd They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Preceedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick charge.

34th It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we Speak befo[re] ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.

35th Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.

36th Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and high[ly] Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy.

37th In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.

38th In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not Knowing therein.

39th In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.

40th Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.

41st Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Proffesses; it Savours of arrogancy.

42nd Let thy ceremonies in] Courtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place [with whom thou conversest for it is absurd to ac]t the same with a Clown and a Prince.

43rd Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.

44th When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it.

45th Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Shew no Sign of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness.

46th Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a Time [&] Place convenient to let him him know it that gave them.

47th Mock not nor Jest at anything of Importance break [n]o Jest that are Sharp Biting and if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain from Laughing thereat yourself.

48th Wherein wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is more prevalent than Precepts.

49th Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile.

50th Be not hasty to beleive flying Reports to the Disparag[e]ment of any.

51st Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brush’d once every day at least and take heed tha[t] you approach not to any Uncleaness.n

52nd In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accomodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashio[n] of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places.

53rd Run not in the Streets, neither go t[oo s]lowly nor wit[h] Mouth open go not Shaking yr Arms [kick not the earth with yr feet, go] not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing [fashion].

54th Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well Deck’t, if your Shoes fit well if your Stokings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.

55th Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.

56th Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for ’tis better to be alone than in bad Company.

57th In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Compan[y] if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.

58th Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for ’tis a Sig[n o]f a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion [ad]mit Reason to Govern.

59th Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act agst the Rules Mora[l] before your inferiours.

60th Be not immodest in urging your Freinds to Discover a Secret.

61st Utter not base and frivilous things amongst grave and Learn’d Men nor very Difficult Questians or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals.

62nd Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend.

63rd A Man o[ug]ht not to value himself of his Atchievements, or rare Qua[lities of wit; much less of his rich]es Virtue or Kindred.

64th Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, tho’ there Seem to be Some cause.

65th Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion.

66th Be not froward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it’s a time to Converse.

67th Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding.

68th Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not Advice with[out] being Ask’d & when desired [d]o it briefly.

69th If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrain[ed]; and be not obstinate in your own Opinion, in Things indiferent be of the Major Side.

70th Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belong[s] to Parents Masters and Superiours.

71st Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others.

72nd Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.

73rd Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring ou[t] your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.

74th When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speec[h] be ended.

75th In the midst of Discourse ask [not of what one treateth] but if you Perceive any Stop because of [your coming you may well intreat him gently] to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it’s handsome to Repeat what was said before.

76th While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.

77th Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others.

78th Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Vertue, commend not another for the Same.

79th Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A [Se]cret Discover not.

80th Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith.

81st Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach those that Speak in Private.

82nd Undertake not what you cannot Perform but be Carefull to keep your Promise.

83rd When you deliver a matter do it without Passion & with Discretion, howev[er] mean the Person be you do it too.

84th When your Superiours talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh.

85th In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not ti[l] you are ask’d a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few words.

86 In Disputes, be not So Desireous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to the Judgment of the Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.

87th Let thy carriage be such] as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive [to that which is spoken. Contra]dict not at every turn what others Say.

88th Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressigns, nor rep[eat] often the Same manner of Discourse.

89th Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust.

90th Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there’s a Necessity for it.

91st Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed no[t] with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table neither find fault with what you Eat.

92nd Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.

93rd Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him wt. meat, Undertake not to help others undesired by the Master.

94th If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you [pu]t in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table [bu]t Stay till Cools of it Self.

95th Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your ha[nd ne]ither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor Cas[t an]ything under the table.

96th It’s unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clea[n &] when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.

97th Put not another bit into your Mouth til the former be Swallowed [l]et not your Morsels be too big for the Gowls.

98th Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you while you are a Drinking.

99th Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great a Noise, for its uncivil.

100th Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do it let it be done wt. a Pick Tooth.

101st Rince not your Mouth in the Presence of Others.

102nd It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need you Drink to others every Time you Drink.

103rd In Company of your Betters be no[t longer in eating] than they are lay not your Arm but o[nly your hand upon the table].

104th It belongs to the Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first, But he ought then to Begin in time & to Dispatch [w]ith Dexterity that the Slowest may have time allowed him.

105th Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it not but on a Chearfull Countenance especially if there be Strangers for Good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feas[t].

106th Set not yourself at the upper of the Table but if it Be your Due or that the Master of the house will have it So, Contend not, least you Should Trouble the Company.

107th If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth.

108th When you Speak of God or his Atributes, let it be Seriously & [wt.] Reverence. Honour & Obey your Natural Parents altho they be Poor.

109th Let your Recreations be Manfull not Sinfull.

110th Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Ce[les]tial fire Called Conscience.

Finis

Issues, Poverty

Just when did I board the SS Minnow?

Leave a comment

My life is starting to feel as if I am sailing aboard the SS Minnow where, no matter how creatively I patch the holes, the water keeps finding new ways of leaking in, threatening to drag me down into homelessness once more.

The difference in the number of pay periods (26/2 = 13) versus disability cheque issues (12 X 2 = 24) resulted in an extra paycheque being included in a cheque period (3 cheques instead of the usual 2). The result was that $280 was clawed back off the disability cheque leaving me short $250 to pay June’s rent.

‘Delaying payment’ of the monthly bills provided $100 towards June’s rent. Of course the price of using the $100 to pay June’s rent is the need to struggle for at least the next three months to squeeze $100 out of my budget to bring the accounts of the monthly bills back to current from delinquent. On a budget were even a 2kg jar of peanut butter is a major expenditure finding the $100 feels more like one is paying in blood or having it carved out of one’s hide.

With no discretionary spending in the budget each ‘savings’ is a decision made at the expense of something else.

If Fate or The Universe had not intervened to return a damage deposit, three years late and in the precise month (May 2010) it was needed, the car I am writing this sitting in would have been providing me shelter during my return to homelessness.

I am sitting in the car writing this waiting for a free supper to be served because I cannot afford the gas to drive home and then return for supper. I am a member of a Fraser Mental Health committee that exists to advise Fraser Mental Health, from the point of view of someone using the services provided by Fraser Mental Health, about its the services and delivery methods it uses. I was forced to miss June’s meeting because there was no money to pay for gas to drive to and from Surrey.

My car provides the only form of transportation that allows me to get to the places I need to be at the times I need to be there. Being unable to get to work and get home from work at 1:30 in the morning would mean I could not afford my current lodgings, could not afford the rent on any safe and healthy housing. Volunteer activities, Fraser Mental Health committees (Surrey, Coquitlam), Housing and Homeless working groups, mental health groups to facilitate (Abbotsford, Mission and Chilliwack) are among the commitments only a car allows me to keep. A car is not a convenience but a necessity.

I am so tapped out that the other day when I found a British made ink pen with four different nibs and ink cartridges in a Thrift Store for the bargain price of $0.65, a pen I needed to replace one that had ceased to write, I had to borrow $0.30 to have enough to pay for it. Repaying the $0.30 was accomplished through cashing 6 pop cans in at the bottle depot.

So of course, when your life begins to feel more and more like you are a passenger on the SS Minnow or are transferring to the Titanic, when one is financially past the point of being tapped out and the car you need and depend on needs to be aircared … that is when said automobile starts running rough and spewing out fumes that have people in the vicinity of the exhaust pipe choking and gasping for fresh air.

With my current financial situation, pretty much penniless, the need for a tune-up (or whatever the Cavalier requires to pass Aircare) requires the benefaction of a mechanic and parts required at a cost of … zero, zip, nada, $0.00 OR the philanthropy of a vehicle with a price at the same level of zero, zip, nada, $0.00.

Finding the future, Housed or Homeless, once again out of my hands and consigned to Fate …

… well, not only is life feeling as if I am a passenger on the SS Minnow but this latest twist has me feeling as if I have been tossed an anchor instead of a life jacket.

Continue reading Just when did I board the SS Minnow? →

Consider, Federal, Issues

Harper’s latest Senate appointment.

Leave a comment

The Conservative Party’s Canada – where, if you are a businessman who can afford to own two Canadian Football League teams and to make large contributions to the Conservative Party, you can procure a seat in the Canadian Senate.

Not really surprising in light of the Conservative Party’s oft demonstrated policy of  increasing the Wealth of wealthy Canadians via policies that transfer resources not to Canadians and Canadian children in poverty, homelessness or need but to those Canadians in Greed. Whether it is by regressive tax policies, being ‘unable to afford’ housing or anti-poverty programs while being able to afford bailouts, subsidies, exceptions, grants or Senate appointments for businesses and the wealthy

Before we leave the subject of the Conservatives lack of ethics and the Senate, it is surprising Mr. Harper did not suffer severe whiplash from his abrupt change vis-à-vis the Canadian Senate.

Mr. Harper called for abolishment, for an elected Senate and condemned the Liberal government’s appointment and use of the Senate when Conservatives were not in power and the Senate was not of any use or advantage to the Conservatives.

But as soon as it was to the advantage of Mr. Harper and his Conservatives we were treated to the spectacle of Mr. Harper, who came to office stating he would never appoint senators, appointing 33 senators – to date

True Mr. Harper made several excuses for his massive about face on this matter; just as he did when, after having attacked the Liberal government on MP pensions when in opposition, Mr. Harper and his Conservatives bellied up to the trough to pig out on the same taxpayer funded golden pensions for MPS.

Interesting lack of an ethical center.

These are the same Harper Conservatives who recently tried to engineer a quick vote on Bill C-304, a private member’s bill calling for “secure, adequate and affordable housing for Canadians.”, in order to scuttle the bill.

The disappointing behaviour here is that of the three other parties in parliament in not getting behind and supporting this bill and a gravely need national housing strategy.

After all this is a Conservative government that, while it claims it has ‘no money’ for a national housing plan (or addressing child poverty), has unlimited millions (hundreds of millions?), for an advertising campaign promoting the Conservative party and paid for by Canadian taxpayers.

There is nothing wrong with political parties blowing their own horns – that’s part of the political process. But the cost of a party blowing its own horn is a cost that should, no must, be paid for out of the coffers of the party, not out of the coffers of the federal government and thus the pockets of Canadian taxpayers.

Sticking a label such as “Canada’s Economic Action Plan” on the spending  does not change the fundamental nature of what the advertising campaign is about – promoting the image and fortunes of the federal Conservative party.

No money for housing or child poverty but the Conservatives can find seemingly unlimited taxpayer $$$$ to pay for advertising to promote the Conservative government.

Interesting set of priorities and rather malleable ethics – ethics that shift to accommodate the circumstances the Conservative government finds to its advantage.

Given that that the Conservative Party likes to hold itself up as the judge and defender of moral behaviour and morality in Canada one has to wonder just what kind of definitions they are using for ‘moral’ and  ‘morality’. Clearly whatever the definitions the Conservatives are using do not include pesky concepts such as ethics, honour, character or the distinction between right and wrong.

While this type of unprincipled behaviour is behaviour as usual for Mr. Harper and his Conservative Party, I was somewhat surprised, based on what I knew of Mr. David Braley from his ownership of the BC Lions, that he allowed himself to be appointed. Although I suppose, upon taking time to consider his $$$$ support of the Conservatives and their behaviours and policies, it really is no surprise.

True ethics are not something that change when convenient. Indeed, true ethics often are inconvenient because they get in the way of what would be a convenient action or behaviour.

Ethics that change when convenient are many things – but they are not ethics.

Lack of ethics is a behaviour that results from seeking to govern simply to push an ideology or to be the party in power. Because in either case,  the operating principles and behaviours of the parties involved are about winning power and holding power. Ethical or honourable behaviours are tossed overboard in favour of whatever it takes to win. Actually any behaviour, such as MPs listening to the constituents they represent instead of mindlessly obeying the Prime Minister, that interferes with winning are rejected.

Yet the moment one becomes unwilling to lose on a matter of principle or ethics, that ones ethics become malleable or that one justifies doing whatever is necessary to obtain or retain power by claiming it is ‘for the good of the country’ one’s actions have ceased to be about delivering leadership and effective governance and one becomes part of the problem.

The current focus of governments and politicians at all levels in Canada is about advancing an ideology, being in power and  winning at any cost, about divide and conquer, pitting differing interest groups against each other; it is not about good government, building a strong Canada or a fair, balanced, understanding  and cosmopolitan society.

None of our current politicians and political parties have promulgated an ethos of what it is to be Canadian or articulated a vision for Canada and Canadian society.

It is time for a discussion of what it is to be Canadian, the type of society we want to have and how we as Canadians will achieve that vision.

It is pass time to stop allowing politicians to tell us why we cannot bring about the Canada we want and to support leadership that is about bringing the Canada we want into being.

Or most Canadians will find themselves entitled only to the rights and freedoms they can afford to buy.

Addiction, Issues, Mental Health

Recovery/Escape from homelessness is a tricky path.

Leave a comment

I was at a housing meeting where the speaker asked people to take out their keys and look at their house key; to take a moment to think about what the key meant or represented to them.

I don’t know what the others around the table thought or saw in their key. I don’t know what the speaker sees when he looks at his own key.

I suspect it was not what I saw in looking at my door key – a burden.

Like rain on a mountain, poverty slowly wears away at you.

The stress of scrambling and pinching pennies until they scream, month after month after month, in order to pay the rent and cover the monthly bills wears away at one’s spirit and mental health.

The stress wears away at one’s ability to manage/deal with anxiety disorders and as anxiety creeps back into your life, over time the levels of anxiety increase becoming harder and harder to deal with.

As anxiety works its way back into one’s life it brings with it feelings of panic, then panic attacks. Increasing anxiety and panic open the door for depression, obsessive-compulsive behaviours and negative thinking.

The grinding of the spirit and mind by the constant threat of homelessness drags at you, seemingly seeking to drag you into a downward mental spiral and back into a head space where your mental illness more and more impairs your ability to function.

Your house key, your home, becomes an albatross around your neck dragging you back into mental illness. You look at the key and you see a burden that portends a return to the darkness of mental illness and inevitably once again to homelessness.

As the strain on your mental health increases so does the temptation to seek relief or to take the edge off through self medication.

The roots of addiction are buried in the soil of seeking relief or alleviation from one’s own mind and the darkness or pain or both that reside there.

The need to find a doctor to fill out the medical report to renew one’s status as ‘persons with persistent multiple barriers’ or have your monthly income halved and face dealing with the fallout that would result from having one’s income abruptly reduced by 50% = stress+++.

A voice mail message conveys the need to phone the Ministry about an issue with the stub. Of course when you phone the line is always busy, forcing you to go down to the Ministry office.

As a result of past dealings with the Ministry, even when mentally well, dealing with the Ministry is at best a challenge. When one’s mental health is under pressure dealing with the Ministry employees means struggling to hold anxiety and panic at bay.

Facing a need to chill out in order to be able to enter the Ministry’s den and deal with the Ministry without succumbing to either (or both) an anxiety or panic attack … well a toke or two or three of marijuana to take the edge off and mellow you out becomes somewhat of a seriously temptation.

And yes, there are some prescription medications that take the edge off but they also stuff one’s head with cotton to the point of nonfunctioning. Remember you need to have a doctor prescribe any medication and since one of the current obstacles is the need to find a doctor …

Understanding just how tempting and easy it is to end up using whatever substances you can find that offer a way to deal with, alleviate and/or escape from one’s own mind and pain has a profound effect on how you view addiction and addicts.

Good thing – I made it into the Ministry. Bad thing – I made it into the Ministry. Part time work contributes to my income but getting paid every two weeks means every six months three pay periods are claimed as income for the month, resulting in exceeding the income permitted. This will result in a reduction of the next Ministry cheque by $280.

Although I have been able to scrimp and scramble and survive this reduction in the past, my finances have been exhausted to the point that no amount of scrambling will enable me to be able to pay June’s rent with this reduction.

Standing in the Ministry office Monday afternoon amending the stub to include the extra pay period did not cause feelings of anxiety or panic. The feeling evoked was much closer to relief.

Yes I now need to find someplace to store belongings, reduce my belongings to fit into that storage space, get those belongings stored and dispose of the rest of my belongings. But facing the constant risk of homelessness I have been forced for months to think about what to keep and what to let go of.

Rather than living in fear and anxiety of the sword falling, now that it has (or will shortly) fall it is a matter of dealing with what needs to be done to transition to homelessness. Having been homeless and lived in my car before homelessness does not hold fear or high anxiety.

Indeed although I will lose the $375 rent portion from the Ministry I will be over $200 ahead as I no longer have to pay the difference between the $375 and my actual rent. Additional savings will be realized as expenses related to having housing cease.

There is regret for the need to step back from volunteering and other community involvements in order to be able to focus on the day to day needs to survive while homeless.

Still, this simplifying of life will hopefully permit and/or contribute to the pursuit of a return to mental wellness.

Recovery from homelessness is more difficult and complex than it appears.

The current Mental Health, Housing and Social Development systems/programs hinder more than help, If you are not fortunate enough to escape the system before your luck runs out …

Such are the Realities of Life.

Addiction, Issues

Substance Use Workshop – recommended by the writer.

Leave a comment

Addiction Realities Workshop – Attendance Highly Recommended by the writer.

If you want knowledge on – What is EFFECTIVE support for substances users?

If you want knowledge on – how to be effective even in difficult or crisis situations.

If you seek to be informed on the underlying realities of the public policy issue of substance use.

If your life is touched by substance use.

You want to be at Seven Oaks Alliance Church (2575 Gladwin Road Abbotsford) on Wednesday night (May 5, 2010) for the Workshop presented by the Abbotsford Mental Health and Addictions Advisory Committee on Substance Use and Users.

I personally am looking forward to this workshop and would highly recommend it to anyone seeking to become informed on the harsh reality of substance use.

I picked Mr, Ron Prasad’s (Fraser East Concurrent Disorders Coordinator) brain when developing a training curriculum on concurrent disorders (substance use + mental health issues) because of his knowledge of substance use and its affect on mental health and mental health issues. I have also heard him speak to these issues.

I would urge anyone interested in gaining understanding of these issues who has the opportunity to learn from him, even as a single speaker, to do so.

Wednesday’s opportunity to not only hear from Ron Prasad but also from Mark Goheen is too strong a ‘double-bill’ to be missed.

I have attended workshops presented by Mark Goheen (Clinical Specialist, Maple Ridge Treatment Centre) and can attest to not only his knowledge and understanding but about his ability to communicate with his audience. Indeed I have a workshop (part 2) by Mr. Goheen on my schedule and am looking forward to gaining new insight, ideas and understanding.

I do not mean to slight Abbotsford’s Chief Constable Bob Rich with my enthusiastic recommendations of the other speakers at this workshop. I have heard Chief Rich speak and appreciated his reflection of the issues, problems and realities of trying to address what is a social and medical issue through the legal and criminal systems.

If you are looking to hear the myths, what ‘everybody knows’, the political line etc this is not the place to look.

But if you are looking to gain a realistic view and knowledge of the issues associated with substance use you want to be at Seven Oaks Alliance at 6 PM Wednesday May 5, 2010.