From Abby Pulse:
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Went To City Hall…..
Armed with a copy of the newspaper article featuring Mr. Teichroeb. I was looking for just a copy of the resource brochure that homeless people receive with their 48 hours notice to vacate.Well no-one could find one for me or knew anything about it so I asked to speak to Mr. T.He was not available.I would like him to comment on this if he can find the time to do that.
posted by Jim Wright
The other day began with me being shanghaied into another ‘conversation’ I was reasonably sure would be neither comfortable not productive. Over recent ‘conversations’ I have come to accept that the way we view the world (and I must acknowledge, I view myself) is different enough that there are points that will never be agreed upon or seen the same way. But to me that is now OK. There was a time when I would have felt compelled to argue until I was proved correct or I would have felt there must be something wrong with me – which is why they would not agree with what I saw as right or I would have felt I must be wrong and must change. These days in acknowledging and accepting the wide differences in people, I have to accept that there are going to be many different views and ways of looking at anything. What I need to guard against is just dismissing these other points of view. These days I take opposing views and run them by friends whose judgment I trust, not because they always agree with me (they have no trouble disagreeing) but because we have a more common frame of reference. In doing this I have had them agree with someone else’s point, but express why in such a way as I could see and understand the point – and adjust my behaviour accordingly. I am still a little more sensitive to feedback from some people than I would like to be, but I am working on getting better. I have come to understand that if a friend offers feedback it does not mean they hate me, just that there is something they want to bring to my attention and have me think about. However, I do not relish a ‘conversation’ I can predict the outcome of going into.
Anyway, the point was raise was that I was and am homeless by choice. Which is a rather interesting and complex statement, containing some truth, some accuracy and a great deal of deception. It is one of those sneaky statements there is no way to safely answer. As if in walking away from my inquisitor I had turned back and asked, “Are you still sexually molesting sheep?”
Choice n.
1. an act or power of choosing
2. the thing chosen
3. alternative
4. preference
5. the best (worthy of being chosen)
What is choice? Remember the news report on the man who had to cut off his own arm to get free, get off the mountain and get the medical attention he needed to live? It would be true and accurate to say that he removed his arm by his own choice. The great deception in this statement lies in the implication that there were any other choices he could have made, that there was a good alternative to choose. What happens when there is no good choice? One is left to choose the least bad or lesser of two (or more) evils. Yes I have chosen not to pursue what for me would have been destructive and unhealthy choices. In this way I can be said to choose to be homeless. What I want to know is why the system lacks alternatives or the flexibility to offer me some choices ‘worthy of being chosen’.
Of course this is one of the points our worldview differs on. “I was homeless, this is how I got out and anyone else only needs do this”. This lumps all the homeless into one big group and as anyone who has read my words knows, I firmly believe there is no one way, no one miracle cure-all for homelessness. This has gotten me accused of thinking I am better than others. Wrong. I just think that I am unique, the result of genetics, experiences and background that no other person exactly shares. If twins, raised together in the same environment turn out to be separate and distinct individuals, I fail to see how one could deny that we each have our own (good and bad) uniqueness. That this uniqueness gives rise to the different needs that must be overcome for each different, unique individual to escape his or her homelessness. I have no interest in just forcing square pegs into round holes, forcing these individuals through a set program to toss them into shelter somewhere and saying solved. Because if one does not acknowledge and address the unique reasons that each individual is homeless they will simple end up on the streets again. Only by overcoming these unique needs can they escape their homelessness.
Two very different world views on people, their behaviours and needs:
One size fits all
vs.
We all have unique differences
In recognizing and accepting that these very different views mean we are not going to agree on any points that depend on these points of view, I tend to see nothing to be gained in replaying arguments. As pointless as arguing about sailing around the world with a person who believes the earth is flat. I know that in not agreeing with the inquisitor and thus abandoning my world view on this matter the D word will be deployed – but a dissertation on denial is for another time and place. I have learned to accept that this point, the very different views of people, means fundamental differences on the way we see ‘homeless’ and ‘choice’. I accept this difference in the way we see the situation. I just wish the inquisitor could accept that I do not agree with him – not is it necessary that I do so.
Dear Mr Teichroeb:
I am currently waiting for a copy of the pamphlet you cited as being given to the homeless when the city ‘cleans up’ the site they occupy. With your implication that this pamphlet contains all the information needed to cease to be homeless, you should be able to appreciate how impatient I, and my fellow homeless, are in awaiting a copy of the pamphlet.
With this in mind I am sending this request for a copy of the pamphlet and/or the information it contains directly to you in hopes that you can quickly forward a copy.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter,
James W Breckenridge
Confidence – a Casualty of War
Confidence n.
1. firm trust, belief or expectation.
2. belief in one’s own abilities.
So easily lost – So hard to find again. One forgets how much confidence underlies the ease with which we make decisions. When you find yourself on a roll and everything is going your way it is easy to decide because you firmly expect things to work out. But what happens when things have not been working out at all? Even if the fault or cause lies not with you, but in your stars. Bad timing, bad breaks or mental illness can all take choice away from you. When you find yourself freezing in panic when the phone rings, well it certainly was not something I chose to have happen. This is not a ‘wrong’ decision but your expectations shift and you begin to believe that anything that happens is going to be bad. And once you start down that road it quickly turns into a steep hill with you rocketing down into the mire of self-doubt. You question every decision, hesitate, firmly trusting that if it can go wrong it will go wrong – for you. Procrastination, flip-flopping, hesitation and avoidance all flow from this loss of belief. And it is far harder to get it back than to lose it since inability to decide carries with it its own set of problems and costs – further undermining ones self-belief.
The only way to get your confidence back is to have things start to work out. But before they can work out you have to DECIDE. You find yourself standing on the edge of a decision, but to you it seems you are standing on a precipice, with no bottom in site. Frozen. It is a long mental journey to get your confidence back and like the journey of 10,000 miles it too begins with the first step. And different decisions can seem to be the beginnings of whole new journey’s. The mental health part of my journey began with walking into Triangle Resources to begin to take their six week course. But to me the precipice was walking down the hall and putting my name on the (blank, clean white) list for one-on-one counseling. As I made choices about how I would work on my inner self and found myself getting healthier, I became confident in my choices about my mental health and so I have a firm belief in the correctness of the choices I make. If I feel the need to go to an al-anon meeting I trust that this is what I need to do and I go. But in some areas the experience has not been so positive. That is not to say that I am making ‘bad’ choices. Rather that the choices I have made have not caused positive re-enforcement that gives one a firm expectation that any choice you make will work out. For example: I have been casting my nets far and wide in my search for employment, without notable success. Now, I do not think I am making bad decisions or choices, but without a positive feedback of some kind doubt creeps in and you find yourself hesitating over things.
I have written about how ridiculous the attitude that a phone is not a necessity in getting a job, not to mention coordinating and running your life. I have felt that I really should have a phone, that it could have a positive and beneficial effect on my job search and life in general. But … without some positive feedback I found myself standing on that precipice again. Need it, how do I pay, positive credit effect of paying bill on time, what if I cannot pay, easy to contact me, no phone tag or missed opportunities, it’s a promise to pay – can I keep my promise? And around and around. Then on Saturday events developed, or is that worked out, so that in effect I was given a clear push in getting my act together and getting a phone. These days I tend to listen to these types of hints, I may not have complete confidence in my ability to decide, but I know when I must decide. Remember:
1. best decision is the right choice;
2. the next best decision is the wrong decision;
3. The worst decision is not to decide.
So when I get a big nudge telling me to decide, I decide. Although I had butterflies in my stomach the day before and a little negative voice questioned some of the decisions I made (phone, plan etc). I am relaxed with having made the decision, it is done, made and in the past and so cannot be changed. I have let it go. The thing to do now is to take full advantage of the communications available to me now that I have a phone, carpe diem (seize the day). By taking advantage of the opportunity the phone represents, the choice (to take the hint) to get the phone becomes positive re-enforcement in trusting that having made a decision it will work out. Making it easier to make and move from the multiple choices that we need to make in order to move forward with our lives as opposed to staying caught on the precipice.
But there are little things that could be done to start building up the confidence of the homeless in order to help them start to make decisions instead of freezing on the precipice. I have witnessed just how much of a positive effect the opportunity to clean up and get into clean clothes has on the homeless. It would not take much to set up a program (a test?) such that some of the homeless have access to showers, the chance to clean up, exercise good hygiene and clean clothes daily. They would start to feel better about their appearance, then themselves and to a certain extent would be wanting to continue to feel better about themselves. Once started down that road they would have to face themselves and some of their choices without an obscuring layer of dirt. Having a clearer view to see what is needed and what choices they have to make. Feeling better about yourself helps give you confidence in things working out in your favour, making the act of deciding easier. Granting the willingness to take a leap of belief in oneself. Getting off the streets involves choices. Mainly the choices of the homeless themselves. Some of the choices the other members of society make have an effect, both minor (daily bathing facilities) or major (offer of employment).
One needs to choose to change. Whether it is a nudge from the universe telling you to CHOOSE or a series of small choices/changes/opportunities that leads to a major life style CHOICE.
The question we need to address is what nudges or help can the community present that enable the homeless to begin to choose and gain confidence in what the results of their choosing are. So that they do not freeze on the precipice but are able to face and make decisions of major CHOICE. It may be as simple as giving them access to cleanliness.
Thanks to a push, or should that be a nudge, I took a bit of a leap of faith and got a phone. I have been waffling over this issue. A phone would certainly be very handy in finding employment, a place to rent when the opportunity presents itself to get off the streets, to stay in touch with people, more importantly for people to be able to easily get in touch with me or emergencies. But it is also a promise/commitment to pay the bill when due. Fear, uncertainty about my future cash flow had me gun-shy over pulling the trigger and getting a phone – even though I know that the phone is a major advantage in finding employment and thus having the needed cash flow. But a generous act of kindness from a stranger made it clear I was suppose to jump – and so I did. As I sit here the butterflies are still fluttering in my stomach, but the die is cast and I did not let a last minute thought about mail permit me to procrastinate and not get the phone.
Mail? Phone? Connection? One of the conveniences that people take for granted is a mailing address or in the case of a cell phone a billing address. As a homeless person one is of No Fixed Address. My car license plate may have 3 letters and 3 digits like a postal code but I doubt that Canada Post would be willing to even attempt to deliver my mail to my ‘home’. So you need to find someone willing to allow you to use his or her address as a place to have your mail sent and to make arrangements for you to get your mail. Otherwise you can end up running around in circles. You need ID to get social assistance. Those without ID are denied assistance. You can get replacement ID mailed to you. No address or money? All you need is to get shelter and allowance from assistance. Wait … no ID = no assistance = no address = no ID = no help and around and around. There are many situations that require a place mail can be sent to you. You can avoid all kinds of hassle if you just have an address you can use when asked for an address in a variety of instances (not having an address to give causes people all kinds of extra headaches. Not having a mailing address is one of the little things, the little inconveniences and necessities that accumulate into a high wide barrier for the homeless.
Having a mailing address is not a miracle cure, but it is on of the issues that can be addressed. For a lucky few it may be the last piece of the puzzle that gets them up onto their feet. For others it may provide a base to build on in their struggle back to their feet. For everyone it would be access to a necessary convenience and one less distracting inconvenience/problem. I admit I have no brilliant suggestion on how this could be done, only the nagging feeling that it should not be to difficult to accomplish. So, put on your thinking caps and give me a creative, imaginative idea(s) on what to do.
A barrier is of ideas, not of things. Mark Caine