Category Archives: Thoughts

Hmmm

James Breckenridge and The Missing Checkered Sock

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from Something Cool News

Like most people with a functioning brain, I too have wondered about the mystery of the disappearing sock. You know, the one you put in the dryer with a bunch of other socks and yet, without exception or explanation, it always goes missing. No matter where you look or what you do, the sock goes missing. Every time. Some of the greatest minds of our generation have been unable to explain the enigma of the disappearing sock.

Except, it would seem, for one James Breckenridge. Breckenridge, the subject of this week’s mini-documentary Changing Lanes, had the opportunity to espouse his wisdom to me at a Starbuck’s in Abbotsford where he had been invited to partake in a coffee with his good friend Vince Dimanno. It was within the confines of this little establishment that he explained his theory to me, also an invited guest.

“In order to understand where these socks go,” he said, “we need to conduct a study, raise some funds so we can get a bunch of dryers which we can then experiment with. Once that process is complete, we need another set of dryers to try and replicate our results. After that, we need to invest in acquiring some experts to analyze those results. And then…”

It went on like this for a little while until the search for the missing sock was costing something like three billion dollars. It was a parable of course, a metaphor for the way government works. Rather than simply solve a problem, the wisdom of our modern day politicians seems to be to first study the problem, hold a never-ending series of conferences, write a number of reports and assessments and then start all over again, costing the taxpayers innumerate sums of money yet getting no closer to an actual solution to whatever the original problem was.

Now, two things struck me as I listened to James speak on this weighty subject. Firstly, how right he was. And secondly, how he was even able to tell this story given his current situation. For those not in the know, James is homeless and has been living in his car for the past few weeks. He was laughing and making wisecracks as he spoke, and I recall wondering how a man reduced to sleeping in the front seat of his car could find anything funny. Yet there he sat, chuckling at his own joke.

See, if I were James Breckenridge I’d be a very angry, angry man. This is a guy who has championed the homeless and worked tirelessly for them during his time at the Salvation Army Shelter where he works. And when not working, he has written extensively on his blog and to local newspapers, doing everything he can to raise awareness on the issue. Even now, homeless and alone, he is working on a way to get to Kamloops to attend a housing conference there or some such thing. He’s going to class to learn how to better help other people even as he himself needs help. Who is this guy?

And what result has James garnered for all this virtuous work? A giant goosegg, that’s what. He wrote a letter to local newspapers – a letter that was actually published – but not one of his friends/acquaintances stepped forward to offer him a place to live. These are the same people James tries to help when he can and defends when someone speaks ill of them. Even though some of them have a couch or a spare room they could lend, they remain silent and allow James to sleep in his 1987 Plymouth Duster.

The media hasn’t been any more accommodating. How do they repay him for all his insightful writing that he does for free? They also ignore his plight. The newspapers know he is homeless and living in his car – they published the letter that he wrote telling them so. Did they dispatch a single reporter to cover this development? Did they try and raise awareness about what he was going through? No – instead they remained silent, leaving it to SomethingCool News to tell the story.

Which, of course, we were more than happy to do. The point of it all is that we really shouldn’t have to, just as James really shouldn’t have to call a Rest Area along the freeway home. In a community that bills itself as caring and “Christian”, this kind of thing really should not be allowed.

It’s a point James understands well. “You know that thing that really pisses me off?” James said to me, taking a sip of his coveted coffee. “If I went into a local church, raised my hands and said, ‘Hallelujah, Praise the Lord!’, all of sudden everyone would come forward to help me. But because I don’t do that, I end up sleeping in my car. How’s that for a caring community?”

It reminds me something I read recently – a story in the newspaper about a church that was luring kids into church by allowing them to play the ultra-violent video game Halo 3. In justifying this, one of the pastors said, “We want to make it hard for teenagers to go to hell. If you want to connect with young teenage boys and drag them into church, free alcohol and pornographic movies would do it. My own take is that we can do much better than that.”

So….lure the kids into the church, let them play a violent video game and then tell them that doing so is wrong? It’s the kind of blatant hypocrisy James knows well. Once the “sin” of being homelessness is forgiven, then all is good. Then people can help. But until the homeless beg for forgiveness, they’re ears, eyes and mouth are closed.

The pastor at the Halo Church said that God wants ministers to be “fishers of men.” Elaborating further (and using a more disturbing tone), he said, “Teens are our fish. So we’ve become creative in baiting our hooks.”

Evidently, it’s not just the teens that are the fish, but the homeless as well. And until they start tugging on the bait, well, they’re just going to have to get used to sleeping outside, or as it is in James’ case, in their cars.

But James isn’t angry about that and instead makes a joke about it. I don’t understand how this man is able to turn so many negatives into such positives, but he does. For him, being a fish is an alright life, not one that he necessarily wanted or chose, but then why be depressed about it? Whether he’s angry or sad, he’s still going to be homeless, so I guess in his mind, he’s better off thinking about disappearing socks. I mean, if no one else seems to have any emotion on the subject, why should he?

Fred Johns

Consider, Homeless

No showers for you!

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In its continuing quest to attract a better class of clientele, the right sort of people to bestow charity on, the pancake breakfast discontinued showers and had very little in the way of men’s clothing Saturday October 13 while continuing the policy of no longer sending the bus around to give a ride to those in need of a big hot breakfast.

I suppose I could cite scripture and verse about how Christ would feel about this judgment of who is worthy of charity and about denying charity to those in need, but what is the point? It is clear from their actions that the institution that has put on this pancake breakfast for the needy over the past years has become an institution about religion and not about spirituality.

Be clear I have no quarrel with them wanting to reach out to another group of people in need. But my spirituality cries out that this should have been done by adding another pancake breakfast, not denying an established relationship with another group of people, undeniably in need of showers, haircuts, clean presentable clothing and a hearty pancake breakfast.

Anyone in need is “the right sort” to deliver charity to.

Consider

Love is a selfless emotion.

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As I walked past the television an advertisement for the Alanon/Alateen Family Groups came on. This organization is about helping the families and children of alcoholism and addiction get healthy.

In recovering my own mental health I have come to an appreciation how much how we think affects our behaviour. I know that even if there had been a magic pill to cure my mental illness, taking it would have changed nothing. Having lived with the illness so long my thinking, my thought patterns, had become warped. “Curing” the illness would have accomplished nothing because I would have continued to think and act in the warped ways I had learned.

I am an adult child of alcoholism; I grew up in a household with an alcoholic parent. Children learn from their parents, are directly influenced by the environment they grow up in. I learned lots of bad ways of thinking, acquired a multitude of “-isms” that influenced and ruled my life and behaviours. The interaction between the “stinking thinking” I learned in my home life and my mental illness proved devastating, eventually consuming my life, myself and resulting in homelessness.

Recovery has been an interesting journey of learning, self discovery, growth and change. A significant part of my recovery has been to learn about and deal with the effects that being raised in a household with alcoholism had on my ways of thinking and perceiving the world around me. This knowledge has given me a keen appreciation of just how important it is to acknowledge and deal with the effects alcoholic or addiction have on children raised in that environment.

With the path my life has taken over the past several years I have a keen awareness of the extent that alcoholism and addiction exist in our society. Couple that with the experience and knowledge of the effects alcoholism and addiction have on children and I am left wondering why the local Alateen meeting is not overflowing with the children that simple mathematics tells us there are in need of help in dealing with and recovery from the effects alcoholism and addiction have had on their young lives and minds.

When I posed this question to an Alateen group I got some interesting and thought provoking answers. There is of course a thread of denial, of various forms and degrees, running through the “reasons” for parents not insisting their children seek out Alateen.

The “I am alright now and therefore everyone else will be or is” syndrome, ignoring the reality that you getting help to recover in no way helps those affected by your behaviour to recover from the effects of that behaviour. We are speaking of real life, not a fairy tale land of make believe and live happily ever after.

There is guilt, embarrassment and shame. Perfectly understandable human reactions, but not acceptable as excuses for not taking the actions you should.

You only compound the guilt when you let it prevent you form acting as you should. Those affected by your behaviour should be at the top of your amends list; especially children for your behaviours will have life long consequences for them – if you do not act to help them recovery healthy behaviours. You cannot change the past, you need to let it go or you will find yourself anchored to the past and to bad behaviours from your past. As uncomfortable as it maybe or may make you feel the amends you need to make is to help people recover from the effect your behaviour has had on them – including mentally and spiritually.

You need to deal with shame and embarrassment in the same manner as quilt, and as with guilt a major part of truly healing yourself is to help those your behaviour wounded to heal themselves. Shame and embarrassment – secrets, and we know you are as sick as your secrets. Secrets can be so very poisonous and the only true way to deal with them is to accept you behaviours and the results of those behaviours, acknowledging them, making amends as needed and cutting them free behind you so they do not poison the future.

Fear of what the kids will say and share about themselves, family and YOU. They will share what they need to share to get well – live with it. Groups such as AA, Alanon and Alateen only really work when one is able to share the truth and in a metaphysical and indefinable way – what you need to share or someone else needs to hear. Afraid they will speak of your insane behaviour? Get over it – and yourself.

Alateen is not about the parents, it is about letting the kids get healthy both mentally and spirituality. Non-sane behaviour is one of the consequences of alcoholism and addiction. Parenting is about doing the best you can in raising your children. Your past behaviour is just that – past and nothing you do will change that past nor make it cease to exist.

You can change the future. If you have any doubt about how important that is for your children, just ask any Adult Child of Alcoholism how important they know it is. There are good reasons that mental health professionals study the effect being raised in a home with alcoholism or addiction has and continues to have on children into their adult lives – and the lives of their children. There are many books and studies on how crippling and devastating be raised in alcohol, addiction or other unhealthy circumstances are on children and their lives.

If you love your children or grandchildren freely and without reservation and they have been affected by alcohol or addiction – get them to Abbotsford’s Alateen meeting. As an after word let me say that if a group or meeting would like to hear this message from the horse’s mouth – I know an Alateen or two who would be willing to speak – just be sure you really want to hear what they have to say.

Consider, Homeless

A Reply – to a comment.

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This is a reply to a discussion I had with someone commenting on one of my articles.

The complete denial of reality contained in your words “no freaking way am I gonna give a handout or support a handout for these slackers” serves to highlight why we continue be plagued by the problems of homelessness and addiction, not to mention so many other issues.

You are already spending tens of thousands of dollars on the homeless and those suffering the scourge of addiction- in the area of $50,000 per person on the streets. Once you begin to arrest and incarcerate people the cost per person doubles, then triples. If you doubt that I refer you to the government of BC website where you can find all the relevant costing data.

Perhaps your anger is such that you are completely happy to continue spending $$$ hundreds of thousands, $$$ millions per person and continuing this behaviour year in and year out. I would refer you to AA where in their hard earned wisdom they know that doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result is insane. If you and others of like mind feel that the homeless should be left on the street, you are the ones who should be paying the $$$millions of extra dollars that following that course of action costs.

Even when my mental illness was at its most debilitating point I personally still retained enough common sense and connection to reality to know it is far more intelligent a reaction to acknowledge reality, not what one wishes to see, and deal with it by designing a system that supports and in most cases rehabilitates the homeless and the addict.

For many the unpalatable truth/reality of the matter is that it is far cheaper to put those who are incapable of working in some form of housing than it is to have them wandering the streets. That’s real life – DEAL WITH IT.

“what bothers me even more is people with ABLE BODIES AND SOUND MINDS ( even half with it ) are homeless”. All I can say is I do not know what addicts you hang with but the clients I deal with at the shelter are far from “ABLE BODIES AND SOUND MINDS”.

Addiction is a stone cold bitch and until you help them deal with their addiction they are not in any way, shape or form of able bodies and sound minds. Which brings to mind your words “who got themselves into their predicament because of their addiction”. The implication being that they chose to be addicts. No one, no matter how insane, chooses addiction. It is frighteningly easy to start out onto that slippery slope and slide down into addiction. And it is not a fate I would wish on my worst enemy.

“SOUND MINDS” A harsh truth, an indictment of our society, is the appalling number of homeless who are not of sound mind. There are several clients here tonight at the shelter who are incapable of looking after themselves. Who are condemned to the streets by those who see only what they want to see when they look at the homeless. There is no place, no agency of our “civilized” society that is charge with ensure those who cannot help themselves get the help they need. It is no wonder life is so hard when people are so harsh as to abandon the helpless to homelessness on the streets. Perhaps you would care to suggest that we reach into our barbaric past to once again take the elderly, the handicapped and mentally ill into the wilds and abandon to their death at the hands of the elements?

“what bothers me even more is people”; I will tell you what bothers me is people and a system so focused on denying the few, and as a percentage of the total we are speaking of a few, a tiny percentage who are not truly in need. They are so busy focusing on ensuring they deny help to those they deem unworthy, that they deny and inflict harm on those truly in need.

What bothers me is people who want to believe that the world is flat they refuse to see that in fact is (more or less) round; people who allow their anger (get a program) to drive them to unreasonable decisions and positions. That is to say they refuse to see just how much more it costs to deal with the homeless on the streets and in the legal system than it would cost to house them. Reclaiming those lives we can. And living with the economic realities of our society – it is far cheaper to enable lazy bums to be lazy bums than it is to pay through the nose just so we can be in denial about the reality of the world around us.

Case in point: Seattle recently opened a housing project aimed at housing the city’s worst drunks. Worse was defined as those who were costing the most to have on the streets (mostly medical, it is the USA, and police costs). We are speaking of a per person cost of $100,000 to as much as $1,000,000. It is now basically costing Seattle $19,000 per person per year. As I wrote to the radio host who was upset that the city was putting them up and allowing them to drink, if he and his listeners feel that strongly then they should approach the city and provide the money to cover the costs over the $19,000 the city currently spends. Why should the rational people of any city, province or country be required to pay for the irrational actions demanded by those who are angry or refuse to acknowledge what is, as opposed to what they want it to be.

What bothers me is the suffering and waste that refusing to act inflicts.

Let me close before this turns into a novel with a comment about your words “I work hard to provide for my family”. Are you aware that the number one reason for homelessness in Canada is now poverty? I have witnessed the growing number of clients at the shelter who are employed but lacking the cash to cover an unexpected expense found themselves on the streets. The current commercial with the can opener “ to pay her rent, she cannot afford to eat, to eat she cannot afford to….around the circle and back to … she cannot afford her rent, to pay her rent. The Post recently had an article about the Abbotsford Food Bank and how its clients have increased over only a few years from 980 per month to over 4,000 per month. I know and have spoken to the person in charge of the food bank. What frightens us both is how many of these people and families depend on the food bank for their food and who would face the choice between homelessness or starvation were it not for the Food Bank. The ugly truth is that as the cost of housing rises, not only in Abbotsford and the lower mainland but across the country, more and more of the working (40+ hours a week) poor are being forced into homelessness.

More worrisome is the growing number of people and families who will be forced onto the streets by any economic misfortune: lost job, unexpected bills (ie car repair) even to much sick time.

It is past time that we as a society get our heads out of…… and begin to deal with the real world, as it exists, around us in a mature, thoughtful, rational and creative way.

If not for reasons of personal honour, human decency and spirituality; then for the crass reason of enlightened self interest – it is simply to costly not to deal with these issues realistically.

Consider, Homeless

I am tired too – a Reply

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This was written in reply to a letter sent to SCN at http://www.somethingcool.ca/ which the editor forwarded to me for a reply.

I have to agree with you George, the homeless problem is getting really tiring. I too am sick and tired of the behaviours that allow this problem, not only to continue, but to grow. You know what else I am really tired of?

I am tired of 80 year old retirees ending up homeless and at the emergency shelter because their pensions no longer can cover the skyrocketing cost of housing in the lower mainland. While on the topic of affordable housing I am not only tired of, but outraged by the fact that an increasing number of the homeless work 40+ hours a week but at salaries so low they cannot afford to live in the communities they work in.

Not to mention how tired I am of a society that allows a mother and her children to have to chose to live in their car because she cannot earn enough to both pay rent and maintain her automobile – which she needs to get to work.

I am tired of seeing the mentally challenged and those with special needs fall through the cracks onto the streets and into the emergency shelter. I am sickened by the difference in quality of life between those with challenges and special needs who are fortunate enough to get access to the limited funds and programs society condescends to provide and those who find themselves alone and at the mercy of an indifferent system.

I am tired and appalled by the numbers of mentally ill people wandering the streets, many ending up in addiction as they self medicate. I am tired of the holier than thou attitudes taken by many people towards those who suffer the scourge of addiction and people who usurp the Deity’s role/sole right to judge a person. I worry when I find myself thinking along the lines of “s/he is nice and deserves help; s/he is such an a*s that they do not deserve consideration and to be treated with humanity”.

I am tired of watching the indignities and hardships inflicted by the behaviour of the MEIA office in Abbotsford as contrasted with the behaviours with offices in other parts of the province. I am tired of a system that is focused on denying help to those we feel don’t deserve help, to the point where it denies badly needed services to those truly in need of aid.

I am tired of politicians and a public that would rather, happily, spend $150,000 a year to throw someone in jail, than to invest $15,000 a year in getting that person sober, mentally well and an opportunity to live a life of their own design. I am tired of a system of recovery and rehabilitation that is demonstrably not accomplishing the positive outcomes it should, but to which politicians, bureaucrats and much of the public cling. I m tired of local politicians who say the right things but do nothing worthy of note and whose actions reveal their words to be nothing but political bafflegab.

I am tired of a society that whines about the decline of morality and spiritual values as it steps over the homeless sleeping in the street, turns it back on seniors, children, families, mentally ill, mentally challenged, the working poor, growing economic unfairness, wages inadequate to sustain life, ….

I am tired of all that and more. Which is why I write to Fred about homeless happenings in Abbotsford. Because the homeless issues in Abbotsford are issues across our country; important societal issues that we must address and that say a great deal about just what type of society we really are.

It is why I advocate for those who so desperately need an advocate and a voice. Why I created http://www.homelessinabbotsford.com/; I write to our local, provincial and national press; I get in the face of the Georges of the world, so they at least have to work at hiding their heads in the sand; it is why I have to move by the end of this month; it may very well be why I had to suffer mental illness, an old life lost, homelessness, recovery and a new, very different than expected life.

I am tired of it, so I work to be an agent of change.

You are tired of all this homelessness stuff – what are you doing to redress homelessness and other social ills?

You can stop bitching and work towards solutions and positive outcomes ( ‘cause if you have time to bitch about a problem, you have time to do something about the problem); or you can bury your head in the sand in order to ignore the problem and stop bitching; in either case (do something, do nothing) stop bitching.

Oh, and if you want pabulum masquerading as real news and issues, I suggest you try the mainstream press.