Category Archives: The Issues

Finances, Life, Mental Health

HELP! Auto Destruct In Progress

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I don’t know what it is with me and cars these days……

.,,,,,, but they have become The Bane of my mental health, of my existence.

I stayed to help the volunteer clean up after Bingo on Wednesday July 2, 2014. My personal policy is to keep my karma balance with as solid a positive balance as possible. Unfortunately Tuesday was apparently a ‘no good deed goes unpunished’ day.

I was headed to the Library and then home but as I shifted gears turning off Essendene onto Montvue there was the sound of mechanical mayhem and while the engine was running, no motivation was being delivered to the wheels.

I managed to glide into a parking spot in front of the Fraser Valley Inn; but no joy – the automobile remained unmotivated to move.

Getting out of the car I stood there looking at HUB – so near and yet so far – and thinking about the $45 – $60 to be towed a single very short block to HUB. ##@!!!&%^$## I thought to myself, getting into the car, starting the engine [so I can easily steer] and beginning to work the car into traffic.

Two gentlemen stepped off the side walk, telling me to put on my hazard lights and pushing me out into traffic and into a u-turn headed in the direction of HUB.

I got around the corner onto Essendene, popped out of the car and put my shoulder to the door frame to keep the car rolling when a gentleman in a pick-up truck whips into HUB and he and his passenger pop out and hustle over to help push the car into HUB.

Two separate times people stepped forward and lent a push. It is this kind of help appearing that is why I consider it wise to keep my Karma account with a solid positive balance.

I suppose it should have been no surprise when Balance had some ill-mannered lout accelerating away when the traffic signals on Essendene turned to green, clearly bent on denying me the left turn into HUB motors without having to stop, then start, the car rolling.

With the transmission probably gone, the car likely toast and worth only scrap value – the condition of my car was a matter of complete indifference to me. Indeed, the only useful purpose the car seemed capable of achieving was to deliver a lesson in the wisdom of manners.

Wisely the lout apparently recognized the kamikaze nature of the situation and wisely decided not to play chicken.

I got the car parked and spoke to the HUB staff about them checking to see if it is something [relatively] cheap and worth fixing. I also arranged to leave the car there for a day or two if the problem – the car – is not worth the cost to fix; a state of affairs which would leave me scrambling to find a replacement and perhaps looking to find short term replacement transportation.

Having dealt with The Bane to the extent I could at that point in time, I set off to walk down Gladys to the Salvation Army and access a phone, phone book and computer to get a ride home and start spreading the news of my quest for affordable and [please, please, please, please, please] dependable transportation.

While it is not a long distance the walk became a matter of focusing on the destination and purpose and coping with the rising level of pain as my right leg became a burning pain and my back turned my steps into grinding torture.

Adding insult to injury an internal nattering nabob of negativism manifested and started berating me [myself?] for not bringing one of the canes I keep in the car for more than short walks or periods of time on my feet without a chance to sit; a nattering stream of negativism into which occasional comments of catastrophe and Auto Destruction of my Life were injected.

Oh Joy. On the upside, the pain that would be involved in stepping off the sidewalk onto the roadway means I have no urge to go play in traffic.

I got to the Salvation Army at 5 pm, the beginning of the Intake shift at the emergency shelter, and find Mike there having just given Steve a ride to work. The door opens revealing Steve and Cliff and I explain about the probable demise of The Bane and ask them to keep their eyes and ears open for an automobile and to spread the word of my critical need for a car at a marvellous price.

I stepped through the door to head for the office for the computer and phone when Steve suggests I get a ride with Mike – who is just pulling away. A hot day means Mike has the windows down, hears me as I shout forth his name and grants my plea for a ride home.

We swing by HUB to leave them the Keys so they can make sure it is not something easy, simple and affordable to fix – at 4:32 PM PST Thursday July 3, 2014 the call confirming the demise of my transport vehicle was received –  and Mike dropped me at my place.

I am thinking a beer sounds good, and six sounds even better. So I have a coke. Sit in front of the fan and read a Calvin and Hobb’s collection I found at a thrift store for a dollar.

Letting my mind process the $$$##@***&^)($!!!!@!!!* Car.

When my mind wondered if Vancity’s decision to offer payday loans to help people escape the clutches of those blood sucking leeches Money Mart, Moneytree et al might mean I can get a modest car loan???????……I know I am ready to start dealing with the The Bane and the BLEEP hitting the FAN.

I moved to the computer to begin to set down this latest chapter of my transportation tribulations and the Universe’s ongoing offensive against my sanity. Paranoid? No, at this point in time there would appear to be evidence attesting to the Universe’s use of transportation tribulations – car problems – to test my mental mettle.

Writing about this latest transportation tribulation helps me to vent, to process and to accept that the car is dead; prepares me mentally to deal with disposing of the dead coupe’s remains, finding a replacement and somehow managing to finance the purchase.

More importantly writing about the situation allows me to network and spread the call for aid in finding a replacement for my prior transportation that has shown a complete lack of consideration in becoming a scrap metal sculpture.

Sigh! I had just finished repaying the money used to purchase The Bane and was on track to full financial recovery from the effects of needing to replace my prior Bane.

Then Kablooee!  All that financial pain and discipline is blown up by a blown transmission and the spectre of homelessness looms once again.

The real danger of not having a vehicle is not that I might not make it to Monday’s appointment with the psychiatrist or incur a fine for returning library books late or other annoyances arising from my loss of personal transportation.

The real danger is being trapped at home with my thoughts and within my mind. A component of my Wellness Recovery Action Plan is getting out of my place when I begin to brood and my thoughts turn to the dark side.

With my car having died I am not only trapped at home, but my car woes provide a focus to brood on, to feel sorry for myself, to catastrophizing, a trap of negativism, of not getting out of bed………

Hark! I seek aid in accomplishing a successful conclusion to:

The Search for A Vehicle for James.

If you know of a vehicle or can help in any manner, email acarforjames@gmail.com

Addiction, behaviour, Homeless, Issues, Municipal, Politics

The Void – Wasted Lives

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It isn’t the 8 years of ASDAC work disappearing into the Void of city hall, mayor and council.

It isn’t the 2+ years prior to the creation of ASDAC where the mayor and council “couldn’t do anything until they had a committee to advise them on social issues.”

It isn’t the years prior to this when Abbotsford “didn’t have a homeless problem/issue.”

It is the LIVES wasted by mayors and councils who refused and ignored their responsibilities and Duty of Care due the citizens of Abbotsford.

It is not just the lives of those who have died or are dying or committed suicide or are incarcerated or incapacitated.

It is the lives of those who remain homeless, on the streets, still using substances as a crutch to deal with life, mentally ill, capacity challenged, etc.

If – such a little word for a word that holds so much promise, potential, recovery, wellness……..OR……Pain [mental and physical], waste and damnation.

If mayors and councils had – or citizens had demanded and changed mayors and councils that didn’t – Abbotsford would have made the switch from recycling to recovery more than a decade ago. If….. then today Abbotsford would have the housing, supports and services in place – or at least a solid foundation to build on – to provide what is needed on the journey to recovery and wellness.

“All they have to do is decide….” It is not that easy to overcome all the barriers you face in: 1) achieving even minimal recovery and wellness; 2) getting everything in line that is required to get into housing; 3) managing to overcome/avoid all the pitfalls and traps that will dump you back on the street.

I have watched people struggle and fall, pick themselves up, struggle and fall…….until they finally made it into housing and/or treatment.

Only to emerge from treatment to find themselves effectively abandoned, left to fall back into self-medication, to fall from housing and into homelessness.

I have watched the hope and life die in their eyes as they sink back into self-medication, mental illness, homelessness and hopelessness.

Knowing that we as a society have the knowledge and understanding of what is needed to provide the supports and services necessary for people to achieve recovery and wellness. Knowing that that best practices exist elsewhere that provide the help that allows those with access to those best practice supports and services to recover and become well.

Watching the struggles, the pain, the waste of lives…..Because we as a city, a province, a society choose not to provide the help that we know – that experience has shown – will help our most vulnerable find recovery, wellness and reclaim their lives.

Consider, Homeless, Issues, Municipal, Politics

The Void – Choices and Consequences

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For all of us Life is a constant stream of choices.

On a daily basis we face and make choices that have consequences that affect our lives and the lives of others in minor and major ways.

We cannot avoid the consequences of our choices by refusing to choose, by trying to wait it out, hoping someone or something else will tell us what’s the best course of action or a ‘solution’ will magically appear or that someone will eventually tell you what you want to hear.

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.

William James

Complicating the consequences that befall us is the fact that the little choices that seem insignificant can turn out to carry major consequences as life unwinds and we find out that the tiny decisions we make are not as divorced from our major life decisions as we thought or wished.

Major choices, little choices, choices made by not choosing – it all comes down to the same question, a question of taking responsibility, of accepting responsibility for the consequences our choices, behaviours and actions have on our lives and the lives of others.

Justifying, rationalization, blaming, excuse making. ‘it is not our responsibility’ will not prevent the consequences of our actions and inactions from coming home to roost.

Don’t like what you see as you drive along Gladys Avenue? What you see is the consequences of the city’s choice to behave as ‘The Void’ on homelessness and its interconnected issues, rather than acting responsibly and taking effective action.

What is taking place along Gladys should not  be a surprised to anyone.

Victoria also had a policy of harassing their homeless. At least they did until 2009 when the BC court of appeals ruled that in a city where the city government had failed to address the issue of homelessness or take action on affordable housing, the homeless had the right to camp in city parks.

Suddenly Victoria’s council and mayor were motivated to acquire backbones and begin to take needed actions to address homelessness.

Among the first actions taken in Victoria was a Housing First project; a solid base to build on in putting in place the services and supports needed for recovery.

I wonder if Abbotsford’s sudden tolerance with the camps on Gladys Avenue results from the city’s struggle to stay out of court until after municipal elections in November? The mayor, councillors, the city cannot avoid the consequences of their behaviours –  facing Pivot Legal Society in court over [among other things] the right of the homeless to camp in city parks.

Because, not only has the City of Abbotsford failed to take action on homelessness and affordable housing, the city has actively blocked affordable housing, recovery oriented housing and services from being built by BC Housing and Abbotsford Community Services.

I suspect that once the consequences of the mayor and councillor’s behaviour has camps sprouting up around Mill Lake Abbotsford’s mayor and city councillors will find themselves highly motivated, as did Victoria’s mayor and councillor’s in 2009, to support Housing First projects, other affordable housing initiatives and the providing of the supports and services to reduce homelessness, substance use, mental illness on city streets.

Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Sadly, it seems that only something as drastic and unpleasant as a court ruling that the city can either address the issues or have the homeless camping at Mill Lake, will motivate the city to realistically and effectively address these issues.

Highly ironic that a mayor and city councillors so ethically challenged that only the negative consequences of their behaviours will/can motivate them to address these social issues, felt they had the right to spend taxpayer dollars to instruct, to lecture, the citizens of Abbotsford on the correct way citizens should behave and about character via their ‘Character Council.’

One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes… and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.

Eleanor Roosevelt

behaviour, Homeless, Issues, Municipal, Politics

Into The Void

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From 2006 – 2014 the recommendations of Abbotsford’s Social Advisory Committee to City Council were, in the words of members of the committee, ‘disappearing into a void’.

Eight years of wasting the lives of the homeless.

Eight years of wasting the time and effort of the citizens who were members of ASDAC.

And people wonder why I am so cynical about City Council’s sudden creation of a Task Force with an election looming in November 2014 and the only action of significance taken by the mayor and city councillors on homelessness was telling the provincial government to take their $2.5 million dollars for construction and all the millions that would have provided the support necessary to begin to get out of the recycling of those with substance use issues and get into recover oriented housing and services, and give those millions of dollars to a city that cares..

Mental illness, substance use, addiction…….. no true progress of significance can be made until the individual is ready. Personal responsibility and the commitment to doing the years of hard slogging, to dealing with all the pain, darkness and unpleasantness you will have to slog through to find recovery, wellness and happiness.

Until Abbotsford has a City Council with a sense of personal responsibility and a commitment to doing what is needed to address these issues, however long it takes; to providing leadership and the backbone demanded by this matter……. all the increasing social issues, not just homelessness and substance use, that cities face today will continue to worsen in Abbotsford.

Reality will be reality, truth will be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief, or ignorance on the part of anyone.

The failure to pay attention that results from the mayor and council’s wilful refusal to acknowledge any reality they did not want to see has cost – and continues to cost – Abbotsford taxpayers dearly. As recent media reports have highlighted one of the major costs of council’s refusal to see anything but what they want to see is the $23 million dollars squandered on the Heat debacle and the $100+ million spent on a building that is empty because it was not needed……..except in the fantasy world that the mayor and members of council dwell in.

‘Learning more’ is a time tested way for politicians to avoid applying what we already know. Any good general, any good leader, can tell you that the only thing that constant analysis achieves is paralysis.

I have spoken with several members of the task force, including previous members of ASDAC who feel they need to give Abbotsford’s mayor and councillors a chance to show that the task force is not simply cover or camouflage for mayor and council who have failed to address homelessness with any effectiveness – or thought.

In thinking about the task force and its members it occurs to me that, should they so choose, the members of the task force can choose to act in the best interests of the homeless and the city – no matter what the mayor and council’s purpose in forming the taskforce was.

Should the members of the task force choose to take the bit firmly in their teeth the first order of business is to declare that it is time to stop recycling people through the traditional system of treatment and implement the services and supports that research and outcomes show to be effective in creating recovery and wellness.

The reason Housing First is part of addressing homelessness in those communities committed to reducing homelessness and dealing with mental illness and substance use in a long term and effective manner, is because Housing First was developed to be about recovery and wellness – about breaking the ‘business as usual’ cycle of recycling people through the system..

Abbotsford Community Services Housing First proposal was the right proposal, in the right location, the best choice as a first step to changing from recycling to recovery and to begin to put in place the resources, services and supports necessary for recovery.

If members of the task force intend to ‘damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead’ and be effective in dealing with homelessness in Abbotsford then their first order of business must be to stand up and tell mayor and council that the most important first step in addressing homelessness is to commit to getting out of recycling and into recovery and that committing to recovery requires council to approve and support the ACS housing proposal.

Let’s make it clear where the task force, mayor, city councillors, citizens – everyone – stands on the nitty gritty reality of homelessness:

Are you prepared to commit to taking the necessary actions, the actions that have been demonstrated to be effective in reducing homelessness, recovery from mental illness, substance use and addiction?

Or are you committed to saying the right things while opposing what has been proven effective around the world in reducing homelessness and fostering recovery and wellness?

It is time to stand up and be counted. Because the task force, best practices, beginning to effectively promote and support recovery and wellness will accomplish NOTHING unless we, as a community are prepared and committed to taking effective action(s).

Do, or do not. There is no try. Yoda

Consider, Issues, Mental Health

The Search for Happiness

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Mental Health Week May 5 – 11 2014

It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.   Mark Twain

I have a friend with schizophrenia who speaks of how, when people learn she has schizophrenia, begin looking at her as if they expect her to pull out a knife and kill them. All because of the way television and the broadcast media portray those with schizophrenia.

I and others of my acquaintance have all had the experience, repeatedly, of having people telling us we could not be living with mental illness because we were not homeless, muttering away to ourselves, well groomed, weren’t raving, made sense……

We have spoken of the difficulties posed by the fact that there is often no external evidence of the turmoil going on within or of the ruin that, occasionally lies within,.

CMHA’s Mental Health Week is an annual national event that takes place during the first week in May to encourage people from all walks of life to learn, talk, reflect and engage with others on all issues relating to mental health.

On Tuesday May 6, 2014 from 7:00 – 8:30 PM at Clearbrook Library Fraser Mental Health’s Abbotsford Advisory Committee is presenting The Search for Happiness: three perspectives on living with a mental illness.

Speaking about their experiences and, as time permits, answering audience questions about living and dealing with mental illness, and as time permits will be a person living with mental illness, a family member of a person living with mental illness and a staff member of Fraser Mental Health who works for Recovery.

Everyone is invited to join us to hear about the reality of living with mental illness.