Category Archives: behaviour

behaviour, Issues

Proper noun is People.

Leave a comment

“James helps others.”

I prefer to think of it as I help people, not others.

Last week at a supper several homeless individuals were discussing something to do with homelessness. At one point in the discussion Jerry needed to make a point and called me over.

He gestured and asked “What do you see?” I turned, looked at the cityscape and asked him what he meant. He repeated “What do you see?” Hmmm??? After a few more exchanges it turned out the part of the cityscape he was asking me what I saw was the people.

While my answer lacked elegance it did make clear that when I looked at them I saw a group of individual people, many of whom I knew.

I did not see undeserving bums, cons, thieves, people who choose to be addicts or any other of the popular labels applied to this group.

Jerry seemed happy because whatever the discussion they were having was, the point he was making was the difference between looking at them and applying a label and looking and seeing them as individual people

Do some of them have addictions? Most certainly, however seeing them or thinking of them just as addicts brings with it preconceptions and attitudes that get in the way of the help they need as opposed to the help you think/believe they need or should get.

Mr. X is a person with a problem(s) and that problem happens to be his addiction. Is addiction a behaviour that is unwise? Yes. Does addiction give rise to behaviours that are a royal pain in the ass to deal with? Yes. Is that an excuse not to help this individual? No.

Helping or not helping is not about them it is about us. Our choice to help or not to help reflects the nature of each of us as individuals and of our society.

When you do not want to do something you can always find an excuse to not do it. You apply labels such as addicts or worthless or lazy bums or talk about not deserving.

The society everyone seems to decry results from the decisions and actions of the members of that society. And one of the fundamental foundation stones of that society is how we treat the most vulnerable and weak of our society.

Given the way society and government currently treats “them” it should not surprise anyone how our society behaves and functions.

As you sow, so shall you reap.

They are people and as such we should help – whether we want to or not – because this is how an intelligent, mature species behaves.

Which is why I say I help people not I help others; others carries the suggestion of us versus others when we need to respect that we all are people.

Still I like “I may never be able to sit having a coffee on the sidewalk in the same way again.”

Another one down, a few million Canadians left to illumine.

behaviour, Consider

At least spend a moment to think of others.

Leave a comment

Greed, selfishness, it’s all about me ….not a very good basis to build a society on; so why have we done just that?

Indeed, greed, selfishness, it’s all about me has become so ingrained, so much part of the fabric of our society that people no longer even recognize this behaviour for what it is.

A, perturbing reality highlighted by the media coverage and the behaviour of the citizens involved and/or affected by the cancellation of the funding for the seniors programs. Threats of not voting Liberal to blackmail them into changing their decision, screams for the funding to be restored, etc …

I think the cancelled program is a good, cost effective program that delivers needed and beneficial services.

What disturbs me is that the reaction was this is taking something away from ME and I want it back.

As a society we have become so self-centred that when anything such as this happens, any situation that takes something away from ME, we scream to get it back without ever asking or considering what the cost to others is. Others? It is all about me!

If the money was restored to the program, where would it come from? If the $86,000 is put back into the seniors program, what program (or programs) loses $86,000?

If the province funds the $86,000 by increasing the deficit then we are simply adding to the burden of debt we have saddled our children, our grandchildren, great grandchildren … with. It is all about ME thinking has become so basic a part of our society that we do not give a passing thought to borrowing money and leaving future generations to pay for our self-indulgent, improvident life styles.

It is about ME; why should I consider the effect on those not ME?

The fact that ME based decision making lacks foresight, is incautious, is unwary and neglects to provide for future needs or the needs of others is not MY problem … until the consequences of this behaviour comes home to roost and good programs begin to be cut.

We can continue to make decisions based only upon ourselves, voting for those who tell us what we want to hear, the behaviour that got us where we are today…

Or we can consider others and the health of our society and begin to address issues, solve problems and perhaps manage to get ourselves out of the deep hole, karmic and financial, that we have dug ourselves into.

behaviour, Consider

Path to Hell paved with “for their own good”

Leave a comment

A chill went down my spine and across my soul listening to Vancouver’s new Mayor Gregor Robertson talking about forcing people, “for their own good”, to behave in a manner he judges is an appropriate and wise.

Frighteningly no one on the news report disputed his statement and others echoed the “force them for their own good” sentiment. Hopefully this lack of a disagreeing cautionary voice was a result of editorial decisions by news staff and not from a lack of those questioning the wisdom of going down the “force them for their own good” path – no matter how well intentioned the steps onto that very slippery slope may be.

The police officer who let her light her candles made the correct decision. Someone was appalled that I would give candles to homeless people living in tents or other makeshift shelter. I know how important they can be to providing heat to survive in frigid weather.

The same day the news had reports of people killed in house fires. Does that mean that we should force people not to live in houses because fires will happen, houses will burn and people will die?

Yes the death of the woman who died in the fire in her modified cart was tragic, but the tragedy was not that she refused to come inside. The tragedy is that we as a society have failed to put in place the resources that would have allowed for the building of a relationship of trust with the woman and the existence of housing/shelter she would have found acceptable.

The true tragedy will be if we heedlessly, thoughtlessly plunge down the “force them for their own good” path. History is full of examples of what happens when we as a society decide what is good for somebody or a group and force them “for their own good” to do what we, not they, want.

Just ask members of our First Nations who were forced into residential schools “for their own good” while looking at the damage done to our First Nations and their cultures and society in the name of “their own good”.

In this case forcing people to behave in a manner “for their own good” is not about their own good but about making society feel better, salving society’s conscience over the consequences of its decision to abandon these most vulnerable people and all to often avoiding having to invest the time, resources and effort to deal with the issues in a manner that would truly be of benefit to those in need.

I have been one of the people who Mr. Robertson wants to “force for their own good” to behave as he sees fit.

While I acknowledge that appropriate housing and supports would have been helpful, what I really needed was the time and personal space to find my way to recovery. “Forcing me for my own good” would have denied me the chance to find that path and to find recovery and myself.