Sometimes the only way to truly understand something is to gain that understanding the hard way, which all to often turns out to be the painful way. It is recognition of this fact that had Philip Mangano saying that if you want to end homelessness you need to talk to, to consult with, the homeless themselves.

This came to mind this week because I had the opportunity to learn another painful lesson in reality. Years ago I had a friend who had an old car that required frequent repairs in a range of $100 – $300. She scrambled to find cash for the repair bills, robbing peter to pay paul.

I always told that for what she was spending in repairs she could get a much better car and she always told me I just didn’t, I couldn’t understand. I owe her an apology now that I DO understand.

These days I need a car to get around and although ease of travel is a nice benefit, it is not why I NEED a car these days. Between my knees, hips and back I no longer have the walking range to walk to the bus. Recently I was forced to use the bus so I took my cane, set out for the bus stop and when I finally hobbled up to the stop I collapsed onto the bench in agony.

When my rear wheel suspension broke I was literally trapped in one location, imprisoned not by bars but by the pain walking results in. As an aside – if you know someone with trouble walking please take the time to make sure that they get free of their prison by giving them the gift of your time and transportation. I need the car to get to the pool to swim in order to do the exercise program for my back that gives me what mobility I have, with no swimming comes a life of constant pain, a very limited life.

Anyway I found myself in desperate circumstances needing my car, a car needing repair to run now and in need of several more items of work in the $100 – $300 range on an ongoing basis. Now the accountant/business side of me knows it would be smarter to get another vehicle but … I do not have the money and homelessness rather ruins your credit rating.

I had to wait until Wednesday cheque day to take the car into the shop to be able to cover the bill. Fortunately I deal with a very good garage and they were able to find used parts for the car, still $400 is a budget busting expense as will be the ongoing needed repairs. My friend was right I did not understand – I do understand now, but I would rather have passed on the opportunity to gain such understanding.

This major cash flow dilemma put me on the can-opener ride. Those who have seen the TV commercial will understand, for those who have not seen it, a brief synopses: can-opener opening can, voiceover “to pay the rent she cannot buy food, to buy food she cannot pay the electric bill, to pay the electric bill….”

The ad strikes a deep cord with me as I need to lose weight which for me is a matter of what I eat requiring me to switch to a switch to a diet with lots of fruit and vegetables and a supply of lean meat (protein). With a budget of $20 – $40 per month peanut butter is a staple and bread (as it can be found for free) is a major staple. So a healthy diet is currently financially out of reach due to the need to pay other living expenses.

So now I can get around and to the pool (the pain is lessening) but I have a car sized hole in my budget leaving me facing a chat with my landlord, the phone company …. The same type of chat a growing number of citizens face as the term affordable housing becomes an oxymoron and for many wage levels do not reflect the true cost of living.

Just when it seemed that I had managed to balance my budget and cash flow so as to not have to constant worry, the reality of poverty and an unexpected bill put me right smack dab onto the great can-opener ride of life for the poor. Another understanding I would gladly have forgone.