The inside of my head can be a pretty strange place to dwell these days. Not to deny that my head space has always occupied a slightly different space-time continuum. Currently compounding my somewhat different view of reality these days is a weird and wonderful, remarkable strangeness.
I had a week or two of mental stress and upset leavened with frustration. Using tools from my mental wellness toolbox I worked my way through this period and into a more positive state of mind. The biggest annoyance was that for the final few days of this grey period for my grey matter, I had the Sleepies. Anytime I stopped moving and tried to read or write I could not stay awake – even after 12 – 16 hours of sleep.
It transpired that this following week I was at a tele-seminar for WRAP (wellness recovery action plan). The seminar reached the part of the Plan on early warning signs and when things start to go bad (downhill). As the seminar was covering these areas I was mentally reviewing those portions of my personal WRAP.
As I was doing this mental review it dawned on me that considering my WRAP’s early warning signs and when things start to go bad – I was depressed the previous week or two. At the end of that very busy day I had to sit down meditate, reflect and examine this enlightenment.
Yes, I was depressed and used the tools I have gained to work through this minor bout of depression – without consciously noticing I was depressed. Knowledge and having taken personal responsibility for my mental health had allowed me to deal with this period of depression without getting despondent, but merely annoyed at the inconvenience it was causing.
How strange is my mental landscape these days that I could pass through a period of depression that would have, just a few years ago, had me panicked and incapacitated with my major reaction having been annoyance over the interference with my writing and plans. Having invested time and effort in my mental health recovery and continuing to invest time and effort in my recovery has given a certain mental serenity – and a certain mental strangeness.
These days I am comfortable having a headspace a little weird and offbeat and gladly embrace that little bit of madness we should all strive to never lose A weird and wonderful playground for my thoughts.